One in a Row

[00:00:24] Speaker A: Modern mixed navigating parenthood. I'm your host, Jim, along with my wife, Jenny. We are two parents born in the 70s, raised in the music from the raising kids in the. Just trying to figure it all out. Let's dive into the mixtape of modern parenting. This is modern mixtape. Listen wherever you get your podcast and follow us on Instagram and X. [00:00:45] Speaker B: What's up? We made it one in a row. Um, huge shout out to everyone who listened to the first episode and sent us comments. I mean, we got comments from all over the place. [00:00:58] Speaker A: Yeah, there was definitely a lot of comments. One of my favorites was the voices like Silk and removing myself from the hood and getting into the passenger seat. [00:01:09] Speaker B: That was a good one. And it was pretty amazing to see comments from not only people we know now, but friends from the past. [00:01:18] Speaker A: It's been a good turnout. [00:01:20] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:01:23] Speaker A: Let's get into it. [00:01:24] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:01:25] Speaker A: Is that what you were going to say? [00:01:26] Speaker B: Yeah, I'm still in your lines. [00:01:28] Speaker A: That's fine. [00:01:29] Speaker B: So one in a row. We didn't really come up with this concept, but it's definitely served us and our kids. [00:01:38] Speaker A: Yeah. One we've definitely incorporated. We had family in town a few years back. I think it was not too long after we moved to Texas. [00:01:47] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:01:49] Speaker A: And we had family in town. There was a family golf game. All the boys came out, went out and shot a whole round. And it was fun to be with my cousins and my uncle, and I think we were on the back nine and he hit just this screamer shot. And I was like, man, that was incredible. My uncle looks right at me. He goes, yeah, I got one in a row. I went, well, what does that mean? He's like, well, if I hit another good shot, I got two in a row, but at least I got one in a row. And I was like, man, that's super positive. That's so glass half full. Yeah, I was really digging that. It's kind of like this podcast we just had to start. We're sitting there as you know, we were sitting on the couch just kind of talking about it. [00:02:39] Speaker B: Yeah, it was, what, a couple weeks before my little business gauntlet that I had to go on. [00:02:45] Speaker A: Yes. Oh, the business gauntlet. Fun times. Yeah, it was kind of interesting because it was a day, not unlike today, where we just had some free time, and we were just talking back and forth, and I got a text from you and you said, hey, did you read the article I read or sent you? And I said, no, I didn't, but I'm going to read it now. And I went ahead and read it, and basically, I just kind of jumped right in. I was like, all right, let's do this. Obviously, you're, well, more, I mean, way more thought out than I am. [00:03:26] Speaker B: I am a planner, and if I'm going to invest my time in something, I want it to be valuable and meaningful, and I don't want to do something half ass. And so, of course, I research podcasting. What's the best platform? How are we going to do this? Probably much to Jim chagrin, and sent him the article and then crickets, which is why this took nine months. We both busy lives. [00:03:55] Speaker A: Well, to be fair, we talked about this nine months ago, got us kind of an idea, and then it was maybe about a month and a half ago that it was time. Yeah, it was definitely time to get off the couch and get moving and get one in a row. So, hey, congrats to one in a row. We've got one pad. [00:04:14] Speaker B: If not now, when? [00:04:16] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. It's always an if not now, when moment. Yeah. And I've heard that a lot from a lot of know, you don't have to be good to start. You just have to start to be good. [00:04:24] Speaker B: Well, and it was kind of serendipitous that it happened before that business trip because the class and the training I was going to was on six Sigma and green belt, which is part of one of the key functions of what I do at work. And the class wrapped up with Kaizen, which is one of my personal and professional philosophies, which is kind of constant improvement over time. It doesn't have to be big improvements, but just lots of little improvements. So whether you're improving yourself by reading or physical fitness, but just learning a new skill, but just do lots of little improvements over time. And it's really served me very well in my professional life and definitely in my personal life. I think I've definitely gotten better with age. You're getting the best of me. [00:05:14] Speaker A: I knew that when I met you. [00:05:17] Speaker B: But the class ended with, it can be ugly at first, but you just have to start. And I think that really is the concept of one in a row. You have to not worry about it being ugly or perfect, but you still have to start. And if you don't start, the improvements aren't going to happen. And I think that's interesting when you think about the generations and our generation versus our kids generation. [00:05:49] Speaker A: Yeah. What do you think is the generational difference, in your opinion? [00:05:54] Speaker B: Man, thinking back to our childhood versus our kids, we just started and I think watching our kids and some of the things they do, there is this hesitancy on starting. [00:06:11] Speaker A: Yeah, it's almost as if they feel like they should know how to do it before they even start, or it. [00:06:20] Speaker B: Has to be perfect to start. There's this contemplation on what it's going to look like and this sense of perfection and the judgment where we just went out and did it. I mean, I think back to my childhood, some of the stuff I did with my brother. I grew up on ten acres and we had a tractor. And the fact that my parents just gave me and my brother the keys to the tractor and my brother rode BMX bikes. We built a whole BMX track. [00:06:49] Speaker A: I wish we had pictures of this. This would be awesome. [00:06:53] Speaker B: We had no idea how to build a BMX track other than looking in the BMX magazines and watching Rad the know and we were building tabletops and all of that. And I was driving the tractor. It was totally ludicrous when I think back to it now, but we just started. We just went and did it. [00:07:12] Speaker A: Yeah, same thing. I skateboarded for years. Shout out to my buddies back at home who still skate. [00:07:19] Speaker B: I'm glad you're not skating now. [00:07:22] Speaker A: I tried it, I tried it. It ended poorly. It was a bad decision. Yeah, I should have had knee pads. My bad. I should know better, especially at this age. But yeah, just like. And I think that's where. [00:07:34] Speaker B: But you just went and started. [00:07:35] Speaker A: Yeah, the just starting, like, oh, you want to learn a new trick? So try the new trick. Yeah, and it's the kind of thing that, for me personally, it's kind of hard to convey that to your child. Like, hey, just start it when they're like, but what do I do? I don't know, you just start, you just try. [00:07:53] Speaker B: And I don't know if it's the judgment from social media now, or how the kids are raised differently in school, how they're perceived. [00:08:03] Speaker A: Yeah, by their peers. [00:08:04] Speaker B: I really don't know what the generational difference is. And it'd be fun to see comments from people our age after this podcast, because it really is different being a parent now, because there is such this hesitancy. And you really do have to reassure your kids. And I think about it now, we've kind of moved from getting our kids stuff to experiences. And when we do some of these experiences, they're new things for our kids, but we have to really reassure them that when we go and do these adventures, we're not asking them to do anything we wouldn't do ourselves. A lot of times we're diving into the adventure with know. [00:08:47] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:08:47] Speaker B: And there has to be a lot of trust there within our family unit, but they still just have to start. I mean, I think. [00:08:55] Speaker A: Perfect example, Costa Rica. [00:08:57] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. [00:08:57] Speaker A: So before you really get into that, I had never surfed. I've skated. I've snowboarded. I have never. That was. That was different for me. [00:09:09] Speaker B: So when Jim and I got married, I said, we're going to go to Costa Rica for our honeymoon to a surf and yoga camp. And he kind of looked at me like, what? I think he had other ideas. [00:09:22] Speaker A: I was all about the beach. [00:09:24] Speaker B: He was all about the beach. Maybe not active, like, two sessions in the water, all of that, maybe the cantina, some chips, guacamole, not iguana. [00:09:38] Speaker A: Watching all the fun stuff that Costa Rica has to offer. [00:09:41] Speaker B: We ended up having an amazing time in Costa Rica. I studied there in college, fell in love with it. Jim fell in love with it on our honeymoon. And so we took our kids there the next year to the same surf camp that we went to. It is a surf camp we are not talking about. Put your floaties on. You are out in the water, two sessions a day. And we got there, and the oldest and the middle one, they're out there, no problem. Kids were super water safe. And so the first night, we got everyone out in the water, just us, just to get them used to the break. And the lesson started the next day. But our youngest, love her. [00:10:25] Speaker A: For reference, the other two were. They were out there duck diving. For those of you who don't know what it is when a wave is coming in, you basically duck under the wave and don't get smashed by it. And she wanted to join her siblings, and we were like, why don't you go out there? [00:10:39] Speaker B: Let's go. Well, she also was like, I'm going to look on the shells. I'm going to jump over the little waves. [00:10:45] Speaker A: We're like, no, she just made excuses. [00:10:47] Speaker B: Like, you got to get out there because this is a parenting pro tip. If you want to teach your kids a new skill, hire someone else to do it. So the next day, our kids were going to be not with us. They were going to be with another instructor. [00:10:59] Speaker A: Yeah, we had our own instructor. [00:11:01] Speaker B: Yeah, we were with our own instructor, and she just did not want to go. And we're like, you got to go. [00:11:08] Speaker A: She wanted to go again. She didn't know what to do. [00:11:12] Speaker B: She didn't know what to do. [00:11:13] Speaker A: Instead of just following the crowd. [00:11:14] Speaker B: She was like, so finally, after a little bit of time, I'm like, we're doing this. You got to just start. And so I grabbed her and I just duck dived underneath the wave with her, and she came up. We had our one in a row. And then I was like, oh. [00:11:33] Speaker A: And then she went out and got 14 in a row. [00:11:36] Speaker B: Yeah. And she popped up that first time, realized I did not kill her. She didn't die. [00:11:41] Speaker A: She didn't drown. [00:11:42] Speaker B: She did not drown. And then she was. [00:11:46] Speaker A: And it wasn't as scary. It took the fear right away from her. She was like, oh, okay, well, there's nothing to be afraid of here because. [00:11:54] Speaker B: She got that one in a row, and she needed that one in a row to just start. [00:11:58] Speaker A: Yes. [00:11:58] Speaker B: And then literally, we could not get her and her siblings out of the water. I mean, literally, lips were blue that first night. It was crazy. [00:12:07] Speaker A: One of the big things, there is also little caveat. We will never ask our kids to do anything that we won't do ourselves. [00:12:14] Speaker B: Yeah. I mean, same thing. I think back to my oldest when I first took her skiing. I grew up in a skiing family and took her up to Yosemite to go skiing. Putting ski boots on a five year old. If anyone has done it, it's torture. And I'm at the bottom of the slope putting little boots on her, and. [00:12:34] Speaker A: She is murdering her feet. [00:12:36] Speaker B: Yeah. Screaming bloody murder. She was not having it. And people are looking at me and I'm like, this is what we're doing again, pro tip, she was having a lesson with her instructor. [00:12:52] Speaker A: Yeah, but you had to get the boots on. [00:12:54] Speaker B: Oh, I got the boots on. I got the boots on, and I got her feet locked in those skis. Instructor comes up and I'm like, audios deuces. Have fun. By the end of the day, she was pizza, french fries. Pizza, french fries down the slope. [00:13:09] Speaker A: That's fun. [00:13:09] Speaker B: And she loved it. And she just started, but she had to do it. And it's one of those moments where she trusted me because I was doing it, and she just had to get that one in a row and get it going. [00:13:22] Speaker A: Yeah. I got to tell you, nowadays, the oldest, her attitude is basically effort. I'll go first all the time. I'm like, well, wait a second, maybe not. No, I got it. It's fine. [00:13:35] Speaker B: But I think that comes with, you have to know when to push and help them get that one in a row. And then through those moments of them achieving that one in a row, then all of a sudden, they start to achieve the one in the row themselves. Like you just mentioned with our oldest, she is hard charging. I mean, I think about it now with her in college. She called us up in the middle of her first semester and says, hey, I got myself a spot on the rugby team, and we're both like, you did what? [00:14:11] Speaker A: Rugby. Excuse me. [00:14:15] Speaker B: And it totally fits her personality. She is hard charging. She is total a type personality. But that's her. [00:14:22] Speaker A: That is a testament to you. [00:14:24] Speaker B: Well. [00:14:26] Speaker A: By the way, shout out to all the moms out there that absolutely are absolute stud role models for their kids. Absolutely. [00:14:36] Speaker B: But it's really a testament to her and all of her one in a rows. And I think that comes with just starting things. I mean, I had my one in a row, God, a year and a half ago when I transitioned jobs, I had been in sales my whole life. And then all of a sudden, now I'm creating content and training. I'm not in sales anymore. And it was a huge job pivot, and it was like, I don't exactly know what I'm doing, but I'm going to figure this out, and I'm going to get my one in a row. And now I'm so glad I had that transition in my job because it's so fulfilling now. [00:15:18] Speaker A: How many in a row do you have? A lot. [00:15:20] Speaker B: A lot. [00:15:20] Speaker A: A lot of them under your belt. Repetitions. [00:15:23] Speaker B: A lot. And it's been fun to see some of our kids do that. I think about our middle child, when he called us up in middle school, when we had just moved here and we had put him in choir because there were no other electives, and, God. [00:15:42] Speaker A: We had no other choice. He was like, why am I in choir? [00:15:45] Speaker B: He was so mad. He was so mad. So he's in choir, and then halfway through the year is when they start to go to regional competitions. [00:15:56] Speaker A: Yeah. So there's like, a basic choir, and then there's like a regional choir, like the traveling choir. [00:16:01] Speaker B: Everything in Texas is a competition because Texas is huge. [00:16:05] Speaker A: Let's just level set and Texas is huge. [00:16:07] Speaker B: Yeah. So we thought his just little choir class was done, and so we're, you know, like all parents. You want to know what your kids are like, let us know so we can coordinate. You're not driving, so let us know if we have to drive you somewhere. [00:16:24] Speaker A: Help me help you. [00:16:25] Speaker B: Yes, exactly. And he pops home and goes, hey, I need you to drive me to this place on Saturday. We're like, Saturday? What's up? He goes, oh, I tried out for region choir, like, a couple of weeks ago, and I made it. So it's the big concert and competition. We're like, you did what? He's like, yeah, I made it. I mean, super cool experience that he put himself out there, and he got. [00:16:54] Speaker A: His one in a row. [00:16:55] Speaker B: His one in a row. And our oldest, same thing in high school. When she decided to try out for color guard, we were just like, yeah. [00:17:05] Speaker A: Well, originally, she was on, like, the dance team. Was it? [00:17:07] Speaker B: She was the manager. [00:17:09] Speaker A: Okay. She's the manager for the dance. [00:17:11] Speaker B: So she was learning the routines, but she wasn't, like, performing. [00:17:15] Speaker A: She was a freshman. [00:17:16] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:17:17] Speaker A: And that was the spot that they give freshmen. I don't want to say if you can't make the cut, because I don't think that was the case. I think they just had a lot of girls that were second year girls and third year girls and seniors. [00:17:30] Speaker B: Well, and it was really, that Strand has always been her focus, so this was an extra thing to kind of fulfill what she was doing. [00:17:40] Speaker A: Right. [00:17:40] Speaker B: So she decided to move from the dance team, and she called us up, and she's like, I'm going to join color guard. And we're like, what do you know about that? [00:17:51] Speaker A: First of all, I didn't know anything about color guard. [00:17:54] Speaker B: I knew a little bit. I didn't know how serious it was. [00:17:56] Speaker A: Oh, everything in Texas is serious. Football, color guard, band, wrestling, you name it. [00:18:02] Speaker B: Well, and I'm so glad she did, and I'm so glad we trusted her and she trusted herself to do one in a row, and, frankly, 500 in a row because, dang, there were a lot of practices. [00:18:15] Speaker A: Yeah. So it was learning choreography. Got one in a row. Learning or going to competitions. Yeah. [00:18:24] Speaker B: Football games. [00:18:25] Speaker A: Yeah, football games. You got to start. You got to start before you're great. [00:18:30] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:18:30] Speaker A: You got to get out there and get after it. [00:18:33] Speaker B: But that concept of just putting themselves out there, I think as they've gotten older, instead of us having to be like, hey, one in a row, they're now doing it themselves. [00:18:46] Speaker A: Yeah. And now our youngest is in guard. [00:18:49] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:18:49] Speaker A: And so she had her one in a row. [00:18:52] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:18:53] Speaker A: Same thing. Her first competition, her first football game. [00:18:57] Speaker B: No, it's pretty awesome to see. So just start whatever it is. Just get out there and get off the couch. [00:19:06] Speaker A: Get out there. Do it. Jump off the cliff. Well, don't jump off the cliff, but. [00:19:10] Speaker B: Just start for sure. As we wrap up another episode of modern mixtape, we want to thank everyone for tuning in and sharing this journey with us through parenthood. And guess who just hit two in a row. [00:19:23] Speaker A: These guys. [00:19:23] Speaker B: Yeah, these guys. So remember, as you're going through the highs and lows, you're not alone. Just listen to this mixtape. Modern mixtape is produced and recorded by Jenny and Jim Prudent, edited and mixed by Grey Bear Erickson at the Sanctuary themed song written and performed by Grey Bear Erickson.