Episode Transcript
[00:00:01] Speaker A: Hey, Jen.
[00:00:01] Speaker B: Hey.
[00:00:02] Speaker A: So, you and I like the game of golf.
[00:00:06] Speaker B: We do.
[00:00:07] Speaker A: And, like me, you've played it for a long time.
[00:00:10] Speaker B: Yep.
[00:00:10] Speaker A: I mean, I played before. I was probably about 1012.
[00:00:16] Speaker B: I started playing when I was six. My grandfather taught me, and even with.
[00:00:21] Speaker A: All that time, I'm still not breaking 90.
[00:00:25] Speaker B: Well, that's the thing. There's so many lessons to learn on the course that absolutely translate into life.
Should we get into it?
[00:00:36] Speaker A: Let's get into it.
Welcome to modern mixtape navigating parenthood. I'm your host, Jim, along with my wife, Jenny. We're just two parents born in the seventies, raised in the eighties, love music from the nineties, and raising kids in the two thousands, and, frankly, just trying to figure it all out. Let's dive into the mixtape of modern parenting. This is modern mixtape. Listen wherever you get your podcasts and follow us on all socials.
So, taking a drop.
[00:01:17] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:01:19] Speaker A: So, it says here in golf, players sometimes have to take a penalty drop to get out of a tough spot.
Yeah, that's.
That's very true. In life. What would be a really good example of taking a drop in life?
[00:01:33] Speaker B: I think when you. You have to be able to recognize, I think, engulf, you know, first of all, just admitting, okay, I've got to take a drop because I think there's always part of a golfer that will be, like, egomaniac. Yeah.
[00:01:49] Speaker A: Oh, I can hit that.
[00:01:50] Speaker B: I can hit that. I got it. It's like, no, no, you don't. You are not on the PGA Tour. You're not gonna put your club backwards or stop. You know, you're not gonna, like, put your club backwards, hit left handed, and punch it out onto the fairway.
[00:02:05] Speaker A: Cause it's in a hootered four iron. You got it.
[00:02:07] Speaker B: Yeah.
Take the drop. Get yourself out of that tough situation. And I think sometimes in life, you have to go, man, this is not what I expected, whether it's with your career or kind of what's going on with your kids. I think about the situation we were in with our middle child, where electronics became too much for him, and we. It was a tough spot. It was a tough spot for our family. It was a tough spot for him, and.
[00:02:37] Speaker A: Yeah, well, I mean, a lot of things compounded that. I mean, we had the pandemic, and then they were at home, and he was on the computer all the time, and then that just bled into.
[00:02:47] Speaker B: It was a tough spot, and it was one of those moments where we had to literally decide to take the drop and go, we are going to pivot and, yeah, we're not hitting out of this.
[00:02:58] Speaker A: We're just going to take it.
[00:02:59] Speaker B: We are going to take the kind of penalty shot. And we were going to sacrifice some of his credits at school. We were going to, he was going to start homeschool. And then we sent him to outward bound, and he did an amazing program at outward bound, and he is now better for it. But that was one of those let's take the drop, you know, and that was one of those taking the drop moments. But it did take taking a step back and realizing that having that, you know, penalty shot from taking the drop would give us a better score in the long run, which it 100% did.
[00:03:39] Speaker A: Right, right. I totally agree.
[00:03:43] Speaker B: And I think that's kind of the concept of a drop. If you take the drop, instead of trying to be that jerk, trying to punch it out in the fairway, which, you know, you're not going to be able to punch it out, you're going to end up hitting the tree, it's going to go behind you, and then you're in a worse situation. Just take the drop. You know, be smart. Um, I like, I like this one because this is always a little bit controversial, especially when you hear, like, famous people playing golf and you're like, there's no way they're actually that handicapped. But my grandfather was really big on keeping score.
And there was no, like, well, no, no, no. It was. I had to keep my score in the round. And I think that's very similar to life about, like, writing goals every year and writing them down. And I think that's with golf, you've got to keep your score well, I.
[00:04:39] Speaker A: Mean, how many times do you count using the Texas foot wedge? You know, winner rules. Improve your lie. You know, Dusty, over.
[00:04:47] Speaker B: But that's the problem. That's what I'm talking about.
[00:04:49] Speaker A: When you look at accountability.
[00:04:51] Speaker B: Accountability. You can't do the Texas foot foot wedge or the presidential kick. You know, you can't do that.
[00:04:59] Speaker A: I mean, you can, you just, you.
[00:05:01] Speaker B: Can, but then you don't have the accountability. And ultimately, you do want to have that accountability. Just like in life, I think, for me, I write goals every year. I write them down. And I think when you have goals written down and you talk about it, it helps hold you accountable so you'll get accomplished.
[00:05:27] Speaker A: I don't think I've ever done that.
[00:05:29] Speaker B: You should.
[00:05:30] Speaker A: I probably should.
[00:05:31] Speaker B: You should.
[00:05:33] Speaker A: Goal number one, improve my golf game.
[00:05:36] Speaker B: It's a really rewarding experience.
I mean, I still have some of my goals actually posted from, like, 2019 on my bulletin board in the office.
Clearly, I'm still working on my health. That's been an ongoing goal. And, you know, but also, it makes you realize, like, where you're maybe not spending enough time.
And it's something I want for all of our kids to get in the habit to do because it helps also focus. So you're not just like, where am I at? You know?
[00:06:06] Speaker A: Right.
Well, the next one is a really fun one, and I think.
I think our oldest would is more of this frame of mind, which is the grip it and rip it.
[00:06:18] Speaker B: Oh, I had a kind of plan.
[00:06:19] Speaker A: She is an absolute beast. Nope. Let's just. We're doing it. Rip it, and rip it. Just let me line up and let the big dog eat.
[00:06:27] Speaker B: Yeah. I mean, you can't do this all the time on the golf course, but sometimes you've just got to be brave and just.
[00:06:34] Speaker A: You. Happy Gilmore, that sob.
[00:06:36] Speaker B: Yeah. You've just got to do it.
[00:06:37] Speaker A: You feel like an idiot.
[00:06:38] Speaker B: And I think about what she's doing this summer, and I am just, like, absolutely blown away. I'm so proud of her. You know, she is not coming home for the summer. She's going to go do an internship, which is.
[00:06:51] Speaker A: I mean, yay.
[00:06:52] Speaker B: No, super awesome. Super proud of her.
But she's just doing it, and that is just her. Her mindset. And, um, you know, I think that is kind of the same on the golf course, that sometimes you just have to go, okay, I'm gonna do this shot. I'm just gonna grip it and rip it. I think about, like, advice I've gotten when there's, like, water or kind of like, ravines, unless it's an overhead ravine where I'm elevated, and then I get to hit down over the ravine. Totally confident on those. But if I'm, like, same level and I've got to hit over ravine some, I don't know what happens to me. It's like I've never freaking played golf before. I'm just like, I shrink. And those are moments where I've just got to be like, you gotta rise to the occasion. I've just got to rise to the occasion. Grip it, and rip it and just go.
[00:07:42] Speaker A: Yeah. See, so for me, especially in work, well, a lot in life, too, a lot of times, I'll take the grip it and rip it approach.
I don't mind really putting myself out there, but there are times, and you can see it when I'm working, that I'm. I'm laying up I'm staying short. I'm gonna avoid the hazard. I'm gonna. I'm gonna lay up and take the extra stroke and just. I'll get there. I'll get there as close as I possibly can, but not exactly where I wanted, because, you know, let's be honest here, I don't have a PGA card.
[00:08:17] Speaker B: But laying up is good, though, because that, I think, is good.
[00:08:19] Speaker A: It's perspective.
[00:08:20] Speaker B: It's perspective. And that's good course management.
[00:08:23] Speaker A: Yeah. Course management is absolutely key, and that's. That's. That's a good way to look at life, is course management.
[00:08:29] Speaker B: And I don't think all golfers, when they first start out, I don't think all golfers, when they first start out, understand what course management actually is. And that gets back to the whole kind of concept of taking the drop.
You know, they're just like, I've just got to get down the hole, but really understanding how to manage, you know, getting on the green and two and managing your strokes around the green, I don't think they understand smart course management play and kind of, like, in life. Yeah, I think that translates really well. You've got to have a plan, and you've got to be able to adapt, just like you do on the golf course, to ultimately achieve your goal. You know, it's fairways and greens. Fairways and greens, you know, and occasionally ob.
[00:09:22] Speaker A: Occasionally, you'll be fairways and greens. Occasionally ob.
[00:09:26] Speaker B: You know, it's. I know for me, like, on a par four, just with my hitting distance, I should be on the green and three. I can't make it in two right now with how I'm hitting right. So if I'm on the green in three, I've got to be putting, like, really well. Sometimes I can make it in two, but right now, because I'm not playing all the time, I need to make it in three, and it's got to be really solid.
[00:09:53] Speaker A: So get attacked by the bogey monster. The bogey man.
[00:09:58] Speaker B: Yeah.
But then that's where I've got to do really strong, you know, management with my putts. You know, I can't do those three putts. That's bad.
[00:10:09] Speaker A: Yeah. So, yeah, and then, you know, there's also, you know, the thing is, like, playing the long game, you know, patience and perseverance. You know, you gotta be patient, just. Just like in life, you gotta take your time. You know, you don't have to rush to get out there.
[00:10:25] Speaker B: Well, thinking about our kids, that is a really hard thing, and we've talked about that a lot on the podcast with our kids.
The concept of they are such a generation of now. Instant gratification.
[00:10:42] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, yeah. They are not playing long game.
[00:10:45] Speaker B: Yeah. Which is maybe why you don't see a ton of them playing golf, because golf is definitely not an instant gratification.
[00:10:53] Speaker A: We have absolutely invited all three of them to try and play golf. I mean, we've gone to. What is it? Topgolf.
[00:11:00] Speaker B: Okay, top golf.
[00:11:02] Speaker A: I know. That doesn't count.
[00:11:03] Speaker B: Topgolf does not count.
They have made golf instant gratification. At Topgolf, you hit it, goes out, and things light up, and it is made golf accessible for their generation. But actually going out on the course where you need to wear a collar shirt, shirt, be quiet, behave, not run around like a jackal, have manners, actually let people go in a certain order and follow the rules. My grandfather would be so proud right now.
No, but, you know, it's that concept of that there is a long game in golf. Just like when you ask all of our kids when we've started, as they've now kind of approaching the end game of high school, when you start to, like, ask them about, like, college and have their little brain start to think in, like, three and four year increments, you literally start to see the wheels start to just fall off. And that's a really hard concept for them. And I think it's a generational thing because everything is just in these short snippets.
[00:12:13] Speaker A: Yeah, that's for sure. I. That. That gives me a little bit of pause listening to them go, well, what do. What do you want to do? Do you want to go to college? What do you want to do with your life?
[00:12:23] Speaker B: Yeah.
With golf and the long game kind of ties into this, you know, just being able to stay focused as you're going down the fairway and, you know, it's like, you can see the goal of the green, you know, where you need to go. It's. It's like with our kids, you know, our two that are left in. In high school right now.
[00:12:50] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:12:51] Speaker B: They can see the end game of graduating high school. They know what the next step is. But there is still all this other stuff. It's like being on the fairway in golf. You're, like, looking at the houses, you know, or whatever's off the fairway. You're like, oh, that's nice, you know, but no, you've got to stay focused on the. On the green.
[00:13:13] Speaker A: Yeah. So on my notes under stay focused, it says, get it up and down. So you always want to get it up and down for par. But basically what that means is just see the end game go, okay, I'm shooting for the green. I just need to get this thing up in the air and down on the green, and we're gone. Yeah, you know, no problem. And it's, it's that kind of focus, you know, that they just, I don't think they really, I don't think that they lack focus. I just think they haven't fine tuned focusing.
[00:13:43] Speaker B: No, and I don't think it's that they lack focus.
You said fine tuned focusing.
I think you learn to develop focus. I think focusing is a skill. It is thinking about it. I think it does have to do with where their brain is developed, because if you think about it, brains aren't fully developed till they're 25, so sometimes 30.
[00:14:08] Speaker A: But that's a big debate in this house.
[00:14:10] Speaker B: But I do think it has to it. I think focusing is a skill, and I think it is something that you have to work at and develop. I don't think it's just, you know.
[00:14:21] Speaker A: What my uncle would say right now?
[00:14:22] Speaker B: What?
[00:14:22] Speaker A: Maturity.
[00:14:24] Speaker B: 100%.
[00:14:25] Speaker A: That's when it hits. When they hit maturity, then they go, when is that?
[00:14:29] Speaker B: 45.
[00:14:30] Speaker A: I'm still figuring it out.
[00:14:33] Speaker B: The other thing that I really appreciate being taught in golf from my grandfather is learning how to read the greens and just stepping back, not saying anything, and just observing and learning how to read the greens. And I think that is such a valuable skill for life. You brought it up in the last podcast about, what was that acronym? Wait.
[00:14:56] Speaker A: Uh, yes. Why am I talking?
[00:14:58] Speaker B: Why am I talking and just not talking while observing the greens is the same thing, and learning how to read the greens, you just need to be quiet, look around, observe, and then make your shot. And I think that is so true for life. Sometimes you need to step back and observe before you do.
[00:15:19] Speaker A: So that kind of encompasses something that you said to the kids recently, which is read the room.
Oh, read the room.
[00:15:26] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:15:27] Speaker A: Just walk in, read the room, see what's going on before you open your mouth. Read the room.
[00:15:33] Speaker B: Yeah. Because I think it's a skill, and I think sometimes, especially with teenagers, they're so in themselves and what's going on in their little world that sometimes they lack the awareness of what's going on, maybe with.
And they can't read the room. And I think that that's a skill, that is an important skill to have, because later on in life, they're gonna get into a job or a works, you know, a work situation or a school situation with a roommate. And they're gonna need to understand those social cues and how to read the room, because otherwise, they're just gonna come in like a bull in a china shop and just say whatever's on their mind.
[00:16:19] Speaker A: Yeah. I think Peyton learned that her first year at college, being paired up with somebody that she didn't even know, and you don't know what their sleep habits are, their study habits, their cleanliness, you know, all of that stuff.
[00:16:31] Speaker B: And so kind of like on a golf green, taking that moment to observe before you put will oftentimes make you a lot more successful.
[00:16:40] Speaker A: Oh, I agree 1000%.
[00:16:42] Speaker B: Good episode. This makes me want to get out on the golf course.
[00:16:45] Speaker A: It makes me want to go to the driving range.
[00:16:47] Speaker B: Oh, well, I want to go play around a golf.
[00:16:49] Speaker A: Well, I do.
It's too late in the day to get it done.
That's what I'm saying. We could probably go local and go hit some balls.
[00:16:59] Speaker B: Yeah. But as we wrap up this episode of modern mixtape, we want to thank you for tuning in and sharing this journey through parenthood and reminiscing about the golf course. This was good.
[00:17:09] Speaker A: Remember to stay out of the rough.
[00:17:11] Speaker B: Yeah, definitely. Both on the golf course and in parenthood.
[00:17:14] Speaker A: Yes, yes.
[00:17:16] Speaker B: And if you enjoyed this episode, like it and share it on socials and your podcast platform.
Modern mixtape is produced and recorded by Jenny and Jim Pruden, edited and mixed by Grey Bear Erikson at the Sanctuary theme song written and performed by Grey Bear Erickson. It.
